Saturday, April 9, 2011

Pot, meet Kettle...

                                                          Source: Michelle Meiklejohn

I'm posting about how Pete's blown up like a balloon, but let's be honest here - I'm definitely fat, too.

I gained a lot of weight in law school. Forty pounds in three years, most of it in the first two. I've been out of law school for almost a year, and I gained another 5 pounds while studying for the bar. I clearly do not deal with stress well. I am incredibly unhappy about it, and last night my dad called me and gave me a little speech about paying attention to my health. My mother is having lots of health problems because of her weight. She's been morbidly obese for as long as I can remember. My dad is normally pretty content to leave those kinds of comments to me alone, it really embarrasses him to talk about it. And the fact that I looked so bad the last time I came home that he mentioned it despite how uncomfortable it made him? It makes me feel like crap.

I managed to lose five pounds right after the bar during March, but I slacked off during the first week and a half of April. I got on the treadmill today, which I hadn't done in almost two weeks. I really need some form of accountability, so I'm going to start posting my stats, even if no one reads them. They're pretty painful to look at.

Progress so far:
3/11 - 190
3/13 - 188.6
3/16 - 188
3/19 - 187.4
3/22 - 186.8
3/25 - 186.2
3/30 - 185

And I haven't weighed in since March 30th. I'm afraid to. Which probably tells you how good I feel about my diet and workouts for the last ten days.

I would like to get back to my high school/Japan weight. I weighed 145 in high school, gained the freshman 15 (though in my case it was 20), and then lost it all again when I went to Japan my junior year of college.  I maintained 145 until I got into law school. So 145 is my goal weight, even though it's on the higher end of normal for my height according to the BMI scale.

I keep asking myself how I got here. I am deeply ashamed of how I have "let myself go". During law school I got into the habit of eating out too often, because I never felt like I had the time to cook. I also spent all of my time behind a desk, except for the few times a week I rode. I do live with my boyfriend, but his eating habits are actually worse than mine, and got even worse when he was unemployed for two years. He finally got a job a little over six months ago, and I don't really see his eating improving. Unfortunately, he's not very interested in changing anything just yet (I don't think he's gained as much as quickly as I have), so I can't count on too much support from him.

I've tried to get motivated to lose the weight I've gained before, but I always fizzled out or had to deal with some impending crisis or deadline or test which sidetracked me. I keep telling myself this time is going to be different. It's going to have to be, I seriously need to fix this.

Here goes.

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